Feeling Guilty

Guilt is defined as our conscience and there are two types of guilt, namely healthy and unhealthy. Healthy guilt is the feeling we experience when we do something we judge, by our moral code, to be wrong. It can also occur in many people just by having the urge to do something that they believe is wrong or even by having a thought about committing an act of wrongdoing. Healthy guilt prevents us from improper behaviours or actions and teaches us to be kind and caring.

Unhealthy guilt is something else. This occurs when we set unreasonably high standards for ourselves with the result that we feel guilty at absolutely understandable failure to maintain these high standards. This kind of guilt is rooted in low self-esteem and can also involve a form of distorted self-importance where we assume that anything that happens is our responsibility or our fault. And worst of all, unhealthy guilt can be physically and mentally destructive.

All guilt is self-inflicted and created by the mind. It is a feeling that we CHOOSE to experience. Often, we feel guilty out of a debt, whether it’s social debt, monetary debt or unfulfilled responsibilities. This negative emotion of guilt is a serious drain on our mental and physical energy. Living in a world of regrets would leave us feeling too exhausted to lead a normal life.

Many a time, when we do something wrong or something that we’re not proud of, we feel that we deserve to be punished. And how do we punish ourselves? By feeling guilty, of course and the longer we torture ourselves with guilt, the better a person we will become. Or so we thought. So, we hold on to guilt and to the notion that we must continue to punish ourselves for our past wrongdoings, and in our minds this proves that we’re sorry and that we’re good people.

But the problem is that, we forget that to err is human and most of the time we are too harsh on ourselves and will continue to feel guilty indefinitely rather than allowing ourselves to be freed. Some even go to the extent of imprisoning their feelings for joy and happiness. When we feel guilty, we often decide that we don’t deserve to be happy or to do things that we enjoy. But will that really make us appear less guilty? Meanwhile, this feeling of guilt does absolutely nothing to right a wrong or to change past events. It only serves to make us feel miserable. Guilt is a feeling that helps NO ONE, yet most of us have a very hard time letting it go.

Most of us fail to realise that no longer feeling guilty does not mean we don’t care, rather we are just allowing ourselves to move on. And to move on we must be able to forgive ourselves. Forgiveness is the antidote. Forgiveness of self is not an indulgence but a necessity.

When we forgive ourselves, we not only redeem our souls, we also liberate the pressure within us. Forgiving ourselves gives us the strength not only to help ourselves but more importantly to help those who have been hurt or harmed by our blunders. Hence, instead of allowing guilt to prolong our mental confinement, we should set ourselves free to live a more fruitful and meaningful life.